Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the Jaguar, the Cougar, the ustang, the Colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God:  If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a Bad Dog?

Dear God: Dogs can understand: 

• Human verbal instructions…
• Hand signals… 
• Whistles, horns, clickers and beepers…
• Scent IDs…
• Electromagnetic energy fields, and
• Frisbee flight paths. 

Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God:  Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a Good Dog. 

1. I will not eat the cat's food before she eats it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, poop, etc., just because I like the smell. 
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come indoors from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.