And it was written that Apollo, God of Sun and Surf, came down from Olympus and lay with the mortal woman Krystal, for she was exceeding cute, and he did get off in her. And when the god had returned to Olympus, he did send Mercury, the Messenger of the Gods unto her. And Mercury did come down on fleeted foot in his chopped 1959 Colony Park Woodie with roof rack and give unto Krystal the Tee Shirt that symbolized her tryst with the god. And he did deliver the message and command of Apollo that she should name their demi-god son as "Lance."